I really must be the crappiest Internet marketer in the business. I’m supposed to care about Google’s Penguin but I really could give a shit.

Of course my email was stuffed with marketers lamenting the great penguin assault. The idiot savants at Daddy G have nothing better to do than fuck around with the controls of the Internet. I guess unless you have new animal change every 3 months then you can’t justify packing the sewers of Google with academic elite.

The naming convention is getting old. I guess anti-spam marketers think if they name the fucking whirlwind they unleash on webmasters by some cute animal it will make strategic sense. I think it’s stupid.

So what happened to my sites during the latest website reaping? I dunno. See, I have no idea how to set my sites up to utilize Google’s analytics properly. All I do is build a site and go to Amazon, CJ, Linkshare, Shareasale and the like and see what I sold. I target as many 3-4-5 word keyword phrases that make sense and build a Tumblr site, Squidoo lens or Hubpage. Folks seem to really dig those sites. I’ve been pinning images onto Pinterest and that seems to make people happy.

Squidoo is killing it.

I built a site on Cinco de Mayo less than a week before it occurred. I still don’t know what it’s about but people in the U.S. will use any excuse to dress in a sexy outfit and get drunk.

The takeaway from this is that I should have built this site way before I did and I might have made a few more sales of skanky outfits.

I did no backlinking. I built it and hoped they would come. They did.

I went over to one of the IM forums and the dude running the thing said the penguin update was great for high level domain content. Put shit on Blogger, Squidoo and Livejournal and the like and you were golden. Everyone was crying because their 40-1,000 word tomes on self hosted blogs turned to shit. People were livid because they did all the backlinking the marketing guberus said to do. Wrote the lengthy posts. Socialized this. All for naught as the shithead with a YouTube account hit #1 with a bullet for their prized keyword. Shithead didn’t waste time with backlinking either.

I do very, very little backlinking. I have never been able to be bothered with the enterprise. I have always funneled traffic to where I wanted it to go with Tumblr sites and WordPress blogs. I suppose that is backlinking but really it’s giving the bored surfer another link to click before they leave their cubicle at 5.

What do I think of the Penguin update? Nothing. Unless you are a big corporate deal you will always mean nothing to Google. So that is why I take a ride on Squidoo and Tumblr. Google has finally taken their silver spoon out of their ass and realized that Squidoo and Tumblr are viable business entities that do a great job of encouraging people to create excellent content. They police their own. If it’s ranked well on Squidoo then Google finally, finally decided it’s good enough.

Nothing I build ever does better than the shit that I spray on third party platforms. I’ve been at this for 8 years. Idiot guberus run around telling their lists that you HAVE to self-host. That you HAVE to backlink. That it’s only a matter of time before Squidoo shuts down your lens or Squidoo itself is shut down. That Tumblr is a phase. That Hubpages are dead. I make as much with Hubpages Adsense rev sharing now as I ever did self-hosting niche sites. I sell plenty of Amazon crap off a lens.

I wish I was smart enough to enlighten you 3 or 4 readers about the intricacies of Google updates. I have no idea what they are about. The last one that hurt me was some version of panda that destroyed my Hubpages. That lasted about a month. I changed nothing. It sucked but everything recovered. I suppose that all your “content is king” sites will likewise recover the next time some educated elitist adds the decimal point back into his formula. The same one will probably kill Squidoo lenses. Bummer.

Try this on: Create web sites/pages that you like. If you want to sell 7″ survival knives then find long-ass-tail keyword phrases that a few hundred are searching on each month and get yourself over to Squidoo and build that page. Then build another. Go to Hubpages and build one. Go to Tumblr and build a survival blog and curate the shit out of existing content and link the mess to your salespage at Squidoo.

Use the free hosted sites and stop listening to these jackasses that say you can only make money buying a domain, hosting and building complicated WordPress blogs. If the whole enterprise collapses then you’ve spent nothing but time. Gather up all your XML files and load them into your self-hosted WordPress blog and carry on.

So the Penguin means nothing to me. My latest project is called SEAL (Squidoo Easily Activated Laziness). It consumes penguins.

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