A couple of posts ago I bitched about smartphones. Since I have no interest in talking about creating sites and finding stupid-ass keywords to make a buck on I thought I would continue that cynical discussion. Despite my insistence on not wanting an iPhone or Pre or Blackbery I continue to browse through various review sites and advertisements making every attempt possible to get excited about these gizmos. The GPS function looks cool as I could upload a bike ride onto a training site and keep track of all the particulars of the ride. Having a camera or video seems cool. Snap a quick photo of some dude falling off a dumpster and send it on its way to Tweeter or some shit. Maybe playing a video game while I sit around waiting on the marital unit to finish shopping would be cool. Read a website. Check out who’s Tweeting what.
I still come to the conclusion that this is all retarded technology. Cool to have but definitely not necessary. You guys can argue nine ways to Sunday about all the fantastic things these phones do for you, but I am going to continue to pass on them. My shitty little phone is small and makes and takes calls. I have two gorgeous cameras to take photos with. In any condition. Good or bad light. Choose the right setting and you can snap perfection. My phone takes 2 megapixel photos. They basically suck. Why do I want my camera to take a photo? Convenience? What is convenient about a crappy photo? My Canon is smaller and lighter than an iPhone and takes photos that Jobs over-priced brick could only dream of. These gizmos also take video. To that I say so what. I like using the Flip for quick recording. Easy to edit and post.
So now you are saying, “look dumbass, I have an iPhone. It takes calls, video, photos, surfs the web, has a GPS, plays games and you can watch video. You’d need a bat belt to carry all that individual shit with you.” I’d say you were right. Can’t argue with that. But I’m a snob when it comes to quality. I have found that I am typically unhappy with something that is a collection of stuff and a master of none. Like a TV that has a VCR and DVD built-in. They always suck. Individually you can always find something of better quality. I bet my $15 phone works as good or better for voice quality than your iPhone. It never crashes. It hardly ever drops a call. The battery lasts forever.
I was reading a review on Gizmodo on the iPhone versus the Palm Pre. The dude was talking about the screen quality while watching The Dark Knight. How exactly is it a fun experience to watch a movie on a 3-inch screen? I guess it’s better than nothing while you are commuting on the train for an hour. But seriously, who the hell wants to squint at a tiny screen? I’ve got a nice 32″ LCD at home. Certainly not one of those 50″ behemoths everyone has bought but definitely very cool to me. I can lay on the floor and watch whatever floats my boat in comfort. But no, you go ahead and hunch over your little 3 inch screen on the couch if you prefer.
I can’t believe how much these things cost. You folks who buy these things are getting raped and pillaged. They subsidize one of these phones for $100-300 while they lock you into a 2-year contract that sucks you dry each month. Holy shit look at the costs in the chart below from Gizmodo.
Monthly minimum is $70. Monthly practical of $95. Each month!? Really? Are you kidding me? Unlimited will ream you for $150 a month. $2K a year just for typical use. Is anyone really thinking this through? Are we really in a recession? Oh and lets not forget about the “App Stores”. How much is the average person dropping in those places?
Screw Steve Jobs. I can tell you right now I won’t be buying a damn thing from his over-priced empire (except his stock…ya’ll keep buying all his shit). Or any of the others either. I’m pretty sure I can get done what I need to with my $10 month phone. If I need to use the Internet I’ll come home and work on my 15.4″ laptop.. Yea, that experience is far superior to a smartphone as well. I don’t think I need to be wired every second of the day anyway.
I’m not a kid anymore. Maybe if I was in college and mommy and daddy were footing the bill I wouldn’t give a shit and figure I couldn’t live without Sally Fineboob texting me every 3 minutes. $100 each month out of my income to be wired? No thanks. I’ve spent my life without one. I think I’ll survive just fine.
16 responses so far ↓
Sunshine // Jul 21, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Ditto to everything you’ve mentioned. People are slaves to this crap .
WTF is everyone talking or texting about anyways. This could very well be the real reason for this economic recession. No real creativity is taking place and definitely very little work is getting done in business across America.
I had this same conversation, no make that a heated discussion with my soon to be 40 year old friend girl and young cousin last weekend.
I noticed on both occassions while a passenger in each of their cars, they both damn near rammed into the car and semi truck in the next lane while texting and driving.
Whoever is calling or texting can just wait. It’s totally redunkulous!
I guess we are truly in the minority my dear.
Rant over…
Splork // Jul 21, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I have to laugh at some d-bags on Tweeter and various blogs I spin my cycle through from time to time. They get all wet over some new game they downloaded off iApps or whatever that site is called. I can’t think of anything to reply but, why? To each their own and better their money than mine and I hope my Apple stock will continue to push towards $200 from their buying spree, but I just don’t get it. Like every week they are buying a new game or app. Do they even have time to screw around with the 20 other apps they bought. Or listen to the 10 albums or 5 movies they bought on iTunes yesterday? Crazy and a huge waste of time and money IMO.
Sam // Jul 21, 2009 at 6:36 pm
I sold my Apple stock yesterday as I didn’t want to push my luck. I figured if Steve Jobs dies (he is really sick) then the stock will nose dive. Also it has gone from 80 back up to 15o so I didn’t want to get greedy even though I had bought it at 184.
Looks like I should have held on.
jp // Jul 21, 2009 at 6:48 pm
You seem to have conveniently forgotten that the iphone can also make hilarious farting sounds. Duh, I can here you rethinking your position already.
Splork // Jul 22, 2009 at 7:58 am
The only thing that might make me rethink my position is if Blackberry and my brokerage came out with an app that would stream charts in real time that I could actually read and be able to use effectively. This is a big maybe because I would sooner purchase a small netbook and use a broadband card.
Brawnydt // Jul 22, 2009 at 3:26 pm
In defense of the iPhone, they are pretty nice for traveling. If you do a lot of traveling then these things are irreplaceable. They are basically a small computer and allow you to manage the basics of your online business from your pocket.
Plus watching movies and being distracted with an amusing tower defense game on them isn’t as bad as it sounds when you are stuck on a NYC subway for an hour each way every day crammed next to sweaty angry people.
If you don’t travel and don’t have a real need for one then don’t get one unless you like throwing down money on groovy gadgets. They do have their practical uses though.
Brawnydt // Jul 22, 2009 at 3:30 pm
On the other hand, most of this Web 2.0 stuff, online gaming, and hand held gadgets are pure crap and a time waster and designed to distract you from realizing just how crappy your life actually is.
Every spare second is filled with fantasy and distractions so that you time gets so filled with BS garbage that doesn’t matter one fart in a hurricane that they never stop to actually think about their own life and what is important and what would actually make them happy so they don’t have to escape from reality every spare second.
But that’s just my own personal opinion.
Dan Cruz // Jul 22, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Whats up Splork,
I have a Blackberry and I first got it because the monthly charge for internet access through the BB was the same as getting a network card… For $30 more (total of $60) a month you can connect to the internet through the Blackberry. Network card I believe is also $60 a month.
Now I also use it for fresh IP’s when doing bookmarking runs, I use it to connect to the internet when I’m out (don’t like using free wireless) and it comes in handy when your internet goes down.
They do have app’s like the ones you talk about for stocks and such but the good ones you have to pay for.
Splork // Jul 23, 2009 at 8:15 am
Brawnydt, yea if I was stuck on a train for an hour or more or was slogging through airports, then I’d probably get one, or a Kindle, just to keep from going out of my mind with boredom.
Splork // Jul 23, 2009 at 8:29 am
Dan, $60 sounds a heck of a lot better than what that chart indicates the price is. I checked into the broadband card and like you said it was $60. My work gets a business discount of $13. But it comes down to how much access do I want or need. And the answer I keep coming back to is, not much.
Robert C - The Wholesale Products Guy // Jul 23, 2009 at 11:00 pm
I just have a old Nokia model cell phone from Tracfone. I pay about 20 bucks about every four months – no contract.
I use it only for emergencies, or the occasional call. Works fine, even here in some of the more difficult mountain terrain here in Western North Carolina.
There is no one I need to communicate with that much that they can’t send me an IM, e-mail, or call me on the land line.
I don’t want to be chained or harassed by technology. I am busy enough from just the normal modes of communication thank you very much..
Unless you have a really good reason to have any of the features of the IPhone or “Crackberry” the cost to operate – is just too prohibitive.
One positive note about the IPhone. Create an application that you can sell in their store, or use that “app” it to get some back links..
I just sayin..
Robert C – The Wholesale Products Guy
Lis - Online Income // Jul 24, 2009 at 4:27 am
LMAO I thought I was the only person on the planet who was quite happy with a $40 mobile (total not monthly) and topping up the prepay with $20 every month or 2! Get a netbook if you want to surf – at least the keyboard is almost usable!
Splork // Jul 24, 2009 at 9:30 am
We took our daughters phone away from her. Typical teenage bullshit. Anyway, she lives for texting. It was more than amusing watching her life suffer without it. Last night she actually got on the landline and made a phone call and talked to her girlfriend “old school”. I wasn’t sure she knew how to do that.
Splork // Jul 25, 2009 at 10:55 am
Alright, I called my phone provider and they said that Internet access on a phone will cost me $30 a month. Apparently the figures above are if you buy all the texting and phone usage for local and long distance calls. I could go buy an iPhone and simply add $30 to my bill and stare at a tiny screen all day. There were a couple of apps that I was interested in. One uses the GPS for cycling. Looks cool. Is cool. Gives great data. For about an hour. Apparently it runs through the battery. Not very useful. I’ve looked at different websites to see what the best apps are. Not interested.
Stephen King writes a column for EW. This week he talked about a study that suggests the average person stares at a screen, any screen, for at least 8 hours a day. Seems excessive. I too doubt I will get to the end days wishing I had spent more time looking at shit on all these screens. I spend enough time doing mandatory screen time at work. Can’t do much about that unless I get a job counting trees. But I can manage the amount otherwise and spend time dong REAL things.
Still no for the gizmo.
logan // Jul 20, 2010 at 3:00 pm
you all are just mad because you cant afford smartphones like me with unlimited everything.
Splork // Jul 20, 2010 at 5:07 pm
I have an unlimited iPhone plan that pretty much sucks ass. Actually I have two since my daughter has one as well.
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